Chicken

What am I doing here? I'm not actually sure. I disconnected myself from myspace completely... so I'm filling my Internet connection fetish with this new site. I actually loved to blog. I don't really care who reads it or not, or even if my entries are interesting or not. It's like an online journal. I want to be more connected on the Internet and make this a place where I can share myself, my art and my thoughts. I could turn this into a place where I advertise my artwork and talent, or I could simply use it as a place to entry mindless ramblings much like this one. For the most part I would like to steer clear of the personal information like who my boyfriend is and what's going on in my family or with my friends. I say this as a reminder to myself in case I forget.

I wish my stream of consciousness was more interesting and that I had Internet at home. I would blog a lot more if I had Internet at home, but with my upcoming move to the big city I can't allow myself to pay for yet one more thing every month.

So let me take some time to introduce myself. I am an artist with brilliant prospects. I work in with a non-profit company helping teenage girls with their unplanned pregnancies and helping them to gain independent living skills and positive parenting skills. I hate it. But that's what jobs are there for, an outlet for all that anger in one's life. Or maybe I'm just insane. I have brilliant eyes that see the world like that of a poet. I'm often intoxicated by life's beauty and it's torment, turning those visual thoughts into paintings and words. I'm actually quite good. Most of the time though I have to remind myself that I am not an artist for the money. I discovered my art before I discovered money. It's hard possessing this gift though. I wish I could devote myself to it like the past masterminds, but that takes a lot of time. The way I look at it is that in this world of today I would either need to be incredibly wealthy and know that everything was taken care of, or incredibly poor, so poor that I would never expect to have anything more so that I would be able to let loose on the only thing I have in life that truly means anything. I'm closer to theory two, and that struggle produces tension which produces amazing, conflicting, arousing paintings.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, and I'm actually incredibly humble. But I do feel an ounce of desire within for someone to discover my talent and begin to feed it to the world. I want more people to see what I see and I want to be able to be engrossed in the fumes of art and contemplation.

I have lived in Lincoln for the last two years almost. Before that I was kissing the assess of bureaucrats in Chicago just to attend one semester at The School of the Art Institute of Chicago. That is my destination. I am planning my move to a big city in less than six months. It's going to be very hard and interesting I'm sure. But in these two years my art has progressed and turned into something else entirely.